You see this person above? It's me. A picture can tell a whole story. It's amazing that nowadays a person has to sugar coat their self image based on how people will judge or perceive him or her. Personally, I could give a shit. I've gone down that road before and believe me I was fucking miserable. I will not or will never pretend to be someone or thing I am not to fit in or get approval from anyone.
Wanna know a little about me? Because I sure as hell have a lot to say! Let me start from the beginning. I have three sisters and a brother but lived with only my two biological sisters throughout my childhood years. I was born and partially raised in Shreveport, LA. My mother and father divorced when I was 7 years old. My father then disappeared and moved on with his life afterwards. Haven't heard much from him since. From then we were on the move constantly. I cannot recall how many schools I went to throughout my whole life but I can bet you it was definitely over 10. So keeping friends and being involved in social groups was impossible. I pretty much stuck to myself and did my own thing. I mean what was the point, right? Things started slowing down when I got to high school....kinda. I was able to open up a little more. I was a drummer in high school and only kept a few close friends that I occasionally did things with. By the time I graduated I was 4 months pregnant walking across the stage to receive my diploma. NOT to mention that getting pregnant messed my plans up with the military. I was suppose to head to basic training that following summer and my MOS was to be a surgical assistant. It was very disappointing but I had other more important things to focus on.
After graduating high school, I got married to the father of my child. He was military as well. From the beginning to the end of our relationship I can only say I've lived with him for a little over a year out of 3 years. We ended up splitting up because I caught him cheating on me with female soldier while I was 9 months pregnant with our second child. At the time it was the roughest thing I had to go through considering I already had one kid and working on two. I left with no money, no car, no job...nothing! I bounced out of family and friends houses to get on my feet and it became tough! After I had my second child I found out she was epileptic at the age of 3 months. Considering she was in and out of the hospital, I wasn't able to hold down a job. I had no child support coming in and I had the worst postpartum depression ever. Eventually, I hit rock bottom to the breaking point of wanting to commit suicide. I was emitted into a mental ward for over a week and a half and was diagnosed being bipolar. At the same time I was in the mental hospital, my epileptic daughter was emitted into the other part of the hospital due to repetitious seizures that almost killed her. I had an officer escort me to the other end to see her. Thankfully she pulled through and is still healthy till this day. At that moment, I knew I had to get my shit together for my babies. I was released from the hospital with my head held high. I was a woman on a mission. No one could fuck with me.
Luckily afterwards I got a job. I filed for government programs to help out. I even got in contact with my ex's commander and demanded money for the kids. About a few months after that I met my current boyfriend, Aldo. He took me and my two daughters in as his own. Life with him at first was hard. He was also going through a split and in the process having to maintain peace to see his kids. It has been a journey. We've had our ups and really bad downs. But over the years we have pushed through them by learning more and more about each other each and every day. Now we have two sons together and wouldn't change a thing. My kids are my life.
Personally, my past has made me who I am today. After being through all that I've been through even verbal and physical abuse it has made me stronger. I don't put up with bullshit anymore. I won't lie to you even if it hurts your feelings. I curse, smoke, don't go to church, and all inked up. I'm not self-centered, rude, naive, or incompetent or stupid. But if you know the person within, you would know I'm caring, loyal, honest, loving, and would do anything for anyone. I've realized over the years how to distinguish the difference between the people that are worth it and those who aren't. Believe it or not there aren't many worth it including family. Too much fucking drama. I swear it is what people strive on nowadays. If it ain't drama then it those who start judging you based on what they think they know. These are the two types of people that can go fuck themselves. Before anyone goes pointing a finger at me, they better realize there are three others pointing back at them. Don't judge me unless you know me and what I am about. I'm not perfect and neither are you! I've maintained to focus only on my children and those important to me. I try to limit 'distractions' that could possibly get me down or make me feel like I am not worthy enough. And as much as I hate to admit, I have even made amends with a few of my enemies. If it can be done it should be. Makes life a little easier with less drama...even if it means being the bigger person. Anyways...this is me and what I am about. You can either take it or leave it.
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